


Exactly What He Needed

by NightWolf35



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Gen, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightWolf35/pseuds/NightWolf35
Summary: Buck has a rough time on a call and ends up having a panic attack. Eddie and Christopher make it better.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 185





	Exactly What He Needed

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in the 9-1-1 world. I recently started watching the series and fell in love with Buck and the Diaz boys. This is unbeta'd. Any and all mistakes are my own. Let me know what you think.

Buck was out of the truck and across the station before anyone could blink. He wasn’t sure what he need in that moment beyond getting away from everyone. Their last call still weighed heavily on his mind. He’d lost one today. A child. A small boy who reminded Buck far too much of Christopher. From his curly blonde locks to his light blue eyes and while that in and of itself was horrible all on its own, the child—Brandon—drowned.

The two-story family home had gone up in flames around two in the morning. Thanks to faulty smoke detectors, by the time the family knew there was a problem the entire first story was engulfed in flames and there was no way for them to escape. Instead, the small family was forced to jump off a second-story window aiming for their pool below. Mother and daughter made it down just fine but a small explosion from somewhere inside the house was enough to distract fatherland son, causing them to slip rather than jump from the window. When they landed Brandon hit his head on the side of the pool before slipping into the water. The father, disoriented from the fall, was slow to pull his son out of the water.

Rolling up to the scene and seeing the unconscious little boy laid out on the grass, his little sister crying for him while clutching tight to her mother almost brought Buck to his knees. Flashes of Christopher calling out to him during the tsunami bombarded him. Buck barely registered Hen and Chimney running past him to assess Brandon and the rest of the family but it was no use. Buck could see it on their faces, so could Brandon’s parents. He was gone. Their cries rang in Buck’s ears long after the 118 had left the scene. The looks of complete and utter heartbreak would forever be seared in his mind. He could relate to their pain. Losing Christopher that day, Finding him desperately clutching the lamp post only to lose him again later. Having to face Eddie and tell him Christopher was gone.

Buck slammed his locker closed and slid to the floor. He tried to stop the tears from falling but it was no use. Images of the past and present playing on a constant loop in his mind's eye. The pain in his chest over losing Brandon, over almost losing Christopher, made it hard to breathe. His vision began to grey around the edges as the panic attack set in. 

With the help of a therapist and the Diaz boys, it had been several months since he’d had one. Tonight's call pushed aside eight months of hard work and growth and brought it all back. Brought back all the pain and uncertainty of that period in his life. Between the tsunami, the lawsuit, being on the outs with the team, his feelings of abandonment, fear, resentment, loneliness, it all came flooding back.

Buck choked back a sob, just as he heard the doors of the locker room open. He tried to find the energy to stand. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. To see him this broken. He’d been doing so good. No one aside from Bobby and Eddie knew about his panic attacks. He made it to his knees when another sob tore itself from his body causing him to fall back down. Curling in on himself, Buck buried his head in his hands in an attempt to hide himself—hide his pain.

“Bucky? Are you in here?”

The sound of Christopher’s voice had Buck looking up in surprise. Eddie was off for the next seventy-two hours. He and Christopher had plans to spend their long weekend together watching movies, playing games, just an all-around father-son weekend of fun. They shouldn’t be anywhere near the station. However, the sound of Christopher’s crutches against the floor as he made his way through the locker room to Buck’s locker was unmistakable. Buck tried again to stand and made it to his feet just as Christopher rounded the corner, Eddie barely a step behind.

“Bucky!” Christopher yelled happily when he spotted him. His face shifted to confusion upon noticing Buck’s blood-shot eyes and tear-stained face. “Bucky are you okay?”

“Yeah, buddy. Just a rough call is all.” Buck saw concern written all over Eddie’s face when he glanced at the older Diaz. He knew Eddie could hear the lie in his voice. Ignoring the older Diaz and his truth-seeking gaze Buck shifted his attention back to Christopher. He reached out and pulled Christopher into a tight hug earning him a laugh as Christopher brought his arms around Buck to hug him back. “What about you two, I thought you were having a boys weekend?”

“Daddy said we couldn’t have a boys weekend without our Bucky so we came to get you.” Christopher said. He smiled up at Buck.

“Bobby called,” Eddie added quietly. He ruffled Christopher’s hair. Both men chuckled as the young boy swatted his father's hand away. “said you could probably use a hug from this guy.”

“I could use one from his dad too.” Eddie smiled softly at Buck and pulled both him and Christopher into his arms. 

Buck sighed. Their romantic relationship was still pretty new but Buck already knew with a hundred percent certainty that Eddie was it for him. He loved him and Christopher with every fiber of his being. He still couldn’t believe they loved him back and wanted him to be a part of their little family. The family they were building together was everything he’d ever wanted and all the things he never knew he needed. 

Buck could feel the tension slowly leaving his body as he clutched his boys to him. He placed a small kiss on Eddie’s neck where his head was currently buried and felt the answering smile and kiss to his hairline. Eddie’s strong arms and soft whisperings in Spanish helped to settle the anxiety still swimming in Buck’s veins.

“What would you say to coming home with us for breakfast and movies?” Eddie whispered into Buck's hairline.

“Yeah Bucky, come home with us.”

“Bobby already gave the okay.” Eddie added.

Buck smiled and nodded. This was exactly what he needed. He’ll never be able to completely erase the memories and guilt but this, his boys—his family—were the perfect remedy. Tonight, tomorrow, forever. 


End file.
